Monday, November 02, 2009
I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it. I still find myself comparing how I look to others. I'm getting better at not comparing how I look to famous people (I realized that a lot of them have had plastic surgery), but my main concern now is comparing myself to people at school. I feel that once I get over that I will be all right. There will always be people who are taller, smarter, thinner, prettier, have nicer hair, are faster, etc. than me. It's so difficult to accept, but acceptance comes eventually. When I was younger (like 13) I used to be really concerned about being on the shorter side (I'm 5'1"-5'2" depending). I actually got over that one about 3 years ago. When I was about 14 I was so concerned with my eye color. I thought that my brown was so usual and boring. I got over that when I was about 16 when my bf said that my eyes were "beautiful." That brings a tear to my eye as I write that!!... Unfortunately, right now I'm self-conscious about my hair and breasts. I wish my hair wasn't so messy and wasn't so dry. I can't stand it. I am also worried about what will happen to my breasts if I lose weight. I don't want to be flat! Oh yeah, I forgot one other thing. Over the past 2 years I've been SUPER self-conscious about this scar on my forehead. I was told that it was from chicken pox, but I never noticed it until 2 years ago. One of the main reasons why I got bangs was to hide it. Then once I got bangs, my forehead got very pimply! It's so frustrating. I can't wait to accept who I am COMPLETELY. Like I said, I'm getting there, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I still need to get there!